“You know, ‘she’ let me down because I thought ‘she’ was going to do that for me.”
“”He’ should just know to do it without being told.”
“I ‘expected’ that they would understand what I meant.”
It is such an emotional trap for all of us. A negative response that can taint the day, a week, or even a relationship for life. Does that mean that to deflect a negative response to a situation that didn’t favor an outcome that you were expecting we just don’t have hopes, desires,… expectations? I don’t believe that is the case nor does it even seem logical however on the flip-side, we also cannot seemingly set an expectation on everything we do or in any situation that we come across.
In hope to steer clear of a let-down, consider the following two points before you judge the outcome.
1. Choose your priorities – We cannot go through life trying to manage or manipulate every situation or conversation that we encounter but we can set an order of importance. Basically, we can choose our battles. We know what needs to happen in our lives and we manage by order intrinsically anyway. If it means a lot to you, set the expectation and communicate your needs.
2. Clearly communicate them to the other person – I have come to the conclusion that communication in general can always be improved and sometimes over communicating is key. If we have made what we need from someone else or a situation a priority, we need to clearly communicate our desired outcome. Don’t place that responsibility on someone else to try to figure out.
We will never be relinquished from disappointment and frustration in the future and we will not have control over everything but we can manage what we view as important and we can communicate the desired outcome. This doesn’t guarantee a fail-safe practice but it does place the focus on us. The one who had the expectation and the one who holds the emotional response when something doesn’t come through.
Lord, please give me the discernment today to see things through other’s eyes and allow me to step back and give allowance to others. To not make it all about me and to accept that disappointment in my life doesn’t define me and that I have a chance each and everyday to grow like Christ.