Frustration is birthed out of unmet expectations. Isn’t that so true? I often think of that statement when I am frustrated over something and I try to be real with myself to understand if my feelings are truly being driven by what I want. James 4:1 says, “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you”? Did my selfishness get in the way? Am I thinking of the others involved or supporting the outcome of a situation even if I gain nothing? We often want our spouse to act a certain way towards us or for them to sacrifice at our reward but eventually or often they don’t. Not that they deliberately intend to, it just happens. We are all human and there will be days where we are not in a place to return the love needed. Actually, we are not capable of loving our spouse as they desire us to or as we would desire to love them in return. Only God can provide us the love we need to feel joy, peace, and contentment within our soul. Only God can provide our spouse the love they need through us.
As a husband, I am commanded to love my spouse as Jesus loved the church. To place myself second to my wife’s needs. To give up my life for her. There will be days or seasons in our lives as couples that we will not return a feeling that the other needed or was looking for. There were days when Jesus felt no love being returned. But Jesus didn’t turn his back on the church and he stayed the course. He leaned in and he didn’t fall away. He extinguished all selfishness and He allowed God’s love to flow through Him into us as I am to allow the same glorious love to flow into my wife.