I felt compelled today to follow-up with a post after reading my wife’s latest blog Use Them Well. As she stated, we were proud of ourselves a lot of times and we were focused about the performance. We were doing it because we knew God called us but we had not learned early on that we were there for others to hear God speak through us. To be a vessel for The Spirit.
Over the last couple of years, God has humbled us and continues to groom us as musical instruments to bring The Word to those we worship with. But even so, the human side rears its ugly head sometime with your nerves. Jules said it best in her blog, “It is not about us at all. It is not about a performance. It is not about how good we sound (or not)”. But you want to be the best for God. You hope that you can pull it together enough so that someone is not more focused on what you’re not bringing than feeling the Spirit move. Maybe, you have never worshipped in front of that many people. Maybe, this is the moment you prayed for and now it is your turn to lead.
During the summer of 2011, were honored to have been given the opportunity to ‘perform’ at the Ichthus Festival. We had attended the year prior and was blown away with all the excitement for God and the amazing music. Let’s just say, we were super excited. Once we arrived, we met the stage chaperone and she took us to the stage where we would be ‘performing’. Talk about nerves. We were told the line up and Jules and I immediately looked at each other. None of these bands were acoustic style like we were. They were hard rock. The feeling of not belonging came over us like a fog. We were there because we were led there but that got blurry all of a sudden. Here came the flood of anxiety and nerves.
As the band Danya performed before us, I tried to walk around the area backstage focusing on our set and keeping myself focused. They were high-powered and the crowd was really getting into their music. Great, Jules and I are up next and we bring one acoustic guitar and one vocalist. No harmonies, no nothing. No jumping around the stage and no mosh pit. As I was taking it all in, I turned to speak to Jules and she was not there. She disappeared. I got nervous and started looking for her and to my surprise I spotted her walking. Not just walking around backstage. She took off into the field next to the event and she was departing from our performance. At one point, I thought she was walking home from Kentucky. Later, she indicated that she was contemplating that very thought.
We often laugh at that event in our life and we make references to it even today when the nerves begin to take over. It is not about the performance and it is all to bring glory to God. But we are human. We want to be the best for Him.
Just remember, if you can’t find us look in the field.