Now, the title of this post is no algebraic formula taught in school but just a way to express that as long as my expectations, minus what you expected, still results in me getting or feeling the way I want to, were all good. (No, not really, just trying to make a point)
See, expectations in relationships set us up for failure all the time. We have them and they are real. We subconsciously deal with them daily and more often than not, we know up front what we expect. I heard someone say recently that “frustration is birthed from unmet expectations”. I had never looked at it that way but since hearing that I often reflect on it when I feel I have hit the wall with what I am dealing with. Do I really expect to get what I want most of the time? Is selfishness at the root?
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? – James 4:1
Lately, I often find myself turning to book of James to put my emotions in perspective and to allow the Word of God to continue to speak to me. The Spirit that lives within my heart is teaching me to be at peace if things don’t always go my way. I don’t even need to understand what the other person expects. That’s not the point. It is truly not a game to be won but rather a transforming that will help me to nurture the relationships that are in my life. To be content no matter what. To relinquish control over what I cannot control anyway.
Jesus served those he was in a relationship with and He is teaching me the same. Jesus’ expectation is that we spend eternity with Him but even if we don’t expect the same thing, He still loves us anyway.